Advice

You don't end war by covering it up; you end it by using it. That's blunt, but true. And in my experience working with boards in Melbourne, startups in Sydney and operations teams across Perth, I've seen teams weaponise silence just as effectively as they've been able to weaponise meetings. Both are inefficient. It's not conflict that is the issue , it's how you handle it.

Why it matters now

Organisations are flatter and faster than they were a decade ago. Decision cycles have compressed. Teams are more cross functional and culturally diverse. Which is great for innovation , and a pressure cooker for friction. Fail to pay attention to the human slice of project management, and the smartest processes in the world can go awry.

This is all evident proof: wars are common and expensive. The most commonly cited study from CPP Inc. found that a substantial number of employees experience workplace conflict; the average employee spends several hours a week dealing with it. That time isn't spent on strategy, client work or product improvement. It's unseen waste , and it adds up.

A few blunt, unpopular things up front

• Not all conflict is bad for a news Organisation. In fact, I believe managers should sometimes actively encourage it , constructively that is. When enlightened discord wins, groupthink loses.

• HR is not a solution for every argument. The vast majority of disputes are best resolved locally, swiftly and with wisdom; formal HR processes should be a last resort, not the first for people who are not comfortable dealing directly with others.

Know the beast before you slay it

Teams fight for reasons that are predictable. I tend to see three sources over and over:

1. When two people yank in different directions of what success looks like, they slam into each other. An engineer is tuning for stability; product is asking for features; sales is chasing custom deals. Without that common north star, friction is guaranteed.

2. Communication style and culture , Australians adore blunt; for others, it's all about nuance. Mix in virtual work, and the absence of tone, and small misunderstandings blow up.

3. Role confusion, and work pressures , when roles clash and no one takes responsibility people step on each other's toes. Add to that tight deadlines, and tempers flare.

If you want to avoid unnecessary squabbles, keep it real: 'Clarify perfect job descriptions and decision rights,' writes Ms. Williams in the section on practicality, and design meetings to solve problems, not simply to rehearse status. Little investments at the outset pay off in big headaches.

Good conflict vs. bad (destructive)

There may be no division more important, yet this is one people often blur together. Constructive conflict is outcome focused. It's about ideas and evidence. It improves teams by bringing assumptions into the open. In contrast destructive conflict is personal, circular and sucks energy , the sort that makes every project update a showdown.

Constructive conflict signs:

• People are arguing ideas not identities
• The debate ends with agreed action
• Team can take heat for the sake of improvement

Examples of destructive conflict:

• The same complaint, week after week
• Social withdrawal or passive aggressiveness
• Decisions get delayed because nobody trusts the process

If you see the latter, jump right in. Destructive conflict metastasises.

Workward fundamentals you must have

A couple of snooze worthy things are just nonnegotiable. They're not glamorous. They work.

1. Psychological safety

This word is thrown around; take it seriously. When they can speak out at a genuine price of neither humiliation nor retaliation, you get real output. Leaders set this tone. Simple behaviours , say thank you, deter public shaming and model vulnerability , change the calculus in a room.

1. Do have clear RACI charts on roles and responsibilities

They aren't sexy. They are necessary. When people know that they personally are the ones who will have to live with the decision, not as many elbows fly.

1. Shared goals and values

If your team is unable to explain why it exists, there will be a fight over everything. Review goals you've set for yourself on a regular basis , quarterly is reasonable.

1. A <a href="https://paramounttraining.com.au/training/conflict-resolution-training/">conflict resolution</a> line

Not every dispute requires an SOP. But have a light touch process: you raise the issue, there's a brief facilitated conversation, agreement for next steps and it's only if it doesn't get resolved that you escalate.

Tools that really support communication

Active listening isn't simply a buzzy training term. More than anything it's the least leveraged tool I see leaders missing. When you do it, two things happen: you reinstate better information and defuse defensiveness.

• Engage in reflective paraphrasing. "So what you're telling me is…" That's a basic way to signal attention and catch misreads in the bud.
• Ask curious questions. "What are you worried about with that approach?" makes it one of problem solving, not position holding.
• Timebox heat. If you get off to a rocky start to a meeting, agree to call time and reconvene after a brief cooling off. It's professional. It's normal. It prevents escalation.

Mediation , when to bring it in

<a href="https://paramounttraining.com.au/training/mediation-training/">Mediation</a> is not an HR thing; it's a tool. Use it when:

• Parties can't get past the discussion stage
• The dispute is impeding delivery or staff morale
• A power imbalance makes direct resolution impossible

An unbiased coach assists the parties to create interests rather than positions. A strong mediator doesn't force a solution; they guide the team to one. Far too many companies neglect mediation until relationships are so damaged that they are beyond repair. Don't.

Make feedback work , and be serious about it

Feedback systems should be frequent and formal. Annual reviews are a drag when it comes to preventing conflict. Substitute such communication with fewer, shorter check ins centred on behaviours and impact.

• Normalise upward feedback. Leaders need to be vulnerable; ask "What can I do differently to help you?" Train people to give specific, actionable feedback. "You weren't fast enough" isn't helpful. "But when that report was late, it meant X," you might say. "How can we be sure Y next time?" is helpful.
• Real life examples. Abstract statements escalate. Tangible behaviours enable changes to become negotiable.

Culture and training: where dollars should go to invest

Conflict handling skills are something that can be taught. We coach teams in role play, live discussion facilitation and guided reflection. The returns repay themselves quickly , less escalations, faster decisions, higher retention.

Actions beat intentions

A quick word about remote teams: Remote makes small slights big. Email and chat lose tone. The antidote is structure:

• Overcommunicate rationale for decision making
• Use video for delicate conversations
• Establish asynchronous norms: "If a response is required within 24 hours, say so."

Don't blame crummy Covid etiquette on long distance.

Game changing leadership behaviours

Leaders shape the culture. The message is loud and clear if the people at the top model defensiveness. Here's what good leaders understand and do differently:

• They're able to disentangle intent from impact. Presume positive intention while attending to impact.
• They're not going to let disagreements become personal.
• They reward dissent that's evidence based.
• And, yes soon after they sometimes stoke debate in order to pressure test our assumptions.

It's a balance. Too much provocation becomes toxic. Too little, and teams lapse into tired consensus.

Avoiding repetitions , the learning loop

When a <a href="https://paramounttraining.com.au/what-is-conflict-resolution/">conflict is resolved</a>, don't file it away. Do a learning check:

• What was the stimulus?
• Were processes unclear? What were the obstacles to early resolution?

Make changes and hold people accountable. This is the learning loop that separates one off fixes from cultural improvement.

Some tactical interventions you can use now

• Pre mortems: Before a project begins, the question is asked "What could cause us to fail?" This brings to the surface competing assumptions from the get go.
• Red team one session: Having someone play devil's advocate on purpose to try out ideas.
• Meeting hygiene: Define clear goals, roles and a parking lot for off topic stuff. Meetings are not the place for settled disputes to idle.

The harsh reality about HR and policy

Policies are not bad things to have , they're safeguards you need. But policy is not culture. And if you look to policy for solutions to interpersonal issues, you will wind up with an Organisation that formalises everything.

Train leaders. Let them resolve as many things on their own as possible. Apply policy when there is a safety or legal risk, or repeated behaviour continues.

How do you know that you are getting better

If it looks good for you, don't freak out about the opinion surveys. Track:

• Time spent in meetings that turn conflictual
• Number and length of escalations to HR
• Turnover in teams with a large amount of conflicts
• Self reporting psychological safety in regular pulse checks

That said , numbers count, but so does qualitative judgement. Use both.

Final, unapologetic notes

Conflict is not a failure. It's the signifier that people are watching , or your systems are out of alignment. Consider the signal as precious data. If you do, then you'll build teams that fight smart, align quickly and deliver consistently.

We've done this work with organisations all over Australia , on the public service teams in Canberra, private companies down in Geelong , and the results are consistent: Teams that learn how to <a href="https://paramounttraining.com.au/using-communication-to-resolve-conflict/">handle conflict</a> well will outrun those that run away from it.

There's more to say. Always more. But here's the takeaway: design your team processes around conflict, not as an afterthought. Build the skills. Expect friction. And use it.

References & Notes

• CPP Inc. (2008). Conflict in the Workplace, and How Businesses Can Grow From It. CPP Global Human Capital Report , referenced for the prevalence of workplace conflict and the amount of time employees spend addressing it.